| Politically correct terms for cat owners |
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- My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a floor/rug
redecorator. |
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- My cat does not break things, she helps gravity
do its job. |
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- My cat does not fear dogs, they are merely sprint
practice tools. |
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- My cat does not gobble, she eats with alacrity. |
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- My cat does not scratch, he is a furniture/rug/skin
ventilator. |
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- My cat does not yowl, he is singing off-key. |
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- My cat is not a "shedding machine", she is a hair
relocation stylist. |
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- My cat is not a "treat-seeking missile", she enjoys
the proximity of food. |
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- My cat is not a bed hog, he is a mattress appreciator. |
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- My cat is not a chatterbox, she is advising me on
what to do next. |
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- My cat is not a dope addict, she is catnip appreciative. |
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- My cat is not a lap fungus, he is bed selective. |
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- My cat is not a pest, she is attention deprived. |
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- My cat is not a ruthless hunter, she is a wildlife
control expert. |
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- My cat is not evil, she is badness enhanced. |
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- My cat is not fat, he is mass enhanced. |
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- My cat is not hydrophobic, she has an inability to
appreciate moisture. |
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- My cat is not lazy, he is motivationally challenged. |
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- My cat is not underfoot, she is shepherding me to my
next destination (which should always be the food dish). |
